Today, the ex texted on Whatsapp asking me why I had blocked him on Facebook. More accurately – “I’ve always been obnoxious to you, but why now?”
While, honestly, I really did like the candidness in admitting that he has been quite the pain in the ass since we broke up, I just, I don’t know. I don’t have a straight answer.
What is the standard protocol for when you break up with someone? It is very easy to associate yourself with someone over the Internet – I have an Internet presence with people I’ve barely met or interacted with in real life, but what does one do when you don’t want to be associated with them anymore?
I’m not too open on social media (which is clearly, an oxymoron because I’m blogging about this right now), but point is, I never change relationship status on Facebook or indulge in Facebook/Twitter displays of affection (save for that odd post here and there, I rarely ask for public confirmation), but when you break up with someone, you have to deal with the emotional wreckage and also now, a digital trail of your shared time. Suddenly, all those couple-y profile pictures seem so stupid and fake, and you wonder how, if and why the hell you looked so happy in them. All the inside jokes-y posts you tagged them are irrelevant now, but you still remember context, and what the hell are you supposed to do with that now? It’s just there, waiting for you on those odd days when you scroll way down on your Newsfeed and suddenly you are assaulted with words, images and songs from a completely different time.
The question is, do you really want all that to remain as debris?
There have been times when I was super bored and just infinite scrolling down Boy’s stuff and there will be a random post somewhere from the last person he went out with, and it shouldn’t bother me because I mean, honestly, it’s stupid and I shouldn’t care, and it doesn’t matter, but those little black hearts and goop just send you spiraling into a train of thought you, trust me, do not want to ride. And the same with my own profile. There are memories, yes, and I don’t really want them erased because let’s face it, they’ve made me harderbetterfasterstronger, but they’re there and I don’t know what to do with them.
But back to the original question – why did I delete him off my list? He’s with someone else, as am I, and honestly, I don’t care about him anymore in any way. Yes, we went out, yes, some really terrible things went down, they got fixed, they went bad again and I don’t think we’re going to be the super-friendly exes, and I don’t mind not talking to him ever. But if I really really don’t give a damn at all, why does Facebook feel a lot safer when his updates don’t show?
the answer to your last question, it’s just better not having to deal with his life updates flashing in your face. and it’s unnecessary. It also takes a lot of energy being wise, strong and not caring. no matter what, no matter how over you’re him, there will always be some point where you might compare yourself to him, where he stands and where you’re. it’s only human. so better, just avoid, ignore and forget. like you said, it’s not like you’re going to be super friendly exes. so whats the point having him in your life, even if it’s in the form of a news feed!